|A ventriloquist is walking in the country, when he comes upon a
farmer and his dog standing at the side of the road. He stops and
they exchange greetings. The ventriloquist is bored from walking
alone for so long, so he decides to have a little fun with the
"Would you mind if I spoke with your dog?" he asks the farmer.
"Are you stupid or somethin'?" the farmer says incredulously,
"Dogs can't talk!"
"Well, I'll give it a shot anyway," the ventriloquist replies.
He bends down by the dog and says, "How ya doin' there, dog?" He
then does the voice of the dog without moving his lips and says
"Oh, I'm doin' fine."
The farmer is flabbergasted. The ventriloquist proceeds to have a
pretend conversation with the dog, asking him how the farmer
treats him, where they go for walks, etc. When he's finished,
they walk up the path to the farm and go to the stables.
"Mind if I talk to your horse?" the ventriloquist asks.
"You can talk to horses, too? Well, shoot, I guess I don't
mind..." answers the farmer.
Again, the ventriloquist has a conversation with the animal,
asking him how often the farmer takes him out riding, how often
he is fed, etc. Then they walk out of the stable towards the
fields. The ventriloquist spies a herd of sheep in the pasture.
"Mind if I talk to your sheep?" he asks.
The farmer turns bright red and stammers, "Them sheep ain't
nothing but liars, every single one of 'em!!!"