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Jokes Home > Animals > Laws Of Cat Physics
Laws Of Cat Physics

  • Law of Cat Magnetism
    All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

  • Law of Cat Stretching
    A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

  • Law of Cat Sleeping
    All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

  • Law of Cat Elongation
    A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything
    remotely interesting on it.

  • Law of Cat Obstruction
    A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

  • Law of Dinner Table Attendance
    Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

  • Law of Obedience Resistance
    A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

  • Law of Refrigerator Observation
    If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

  • Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
    All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

  • Law of Cat Embarrassment
    A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

  • Law of Furniture Replacement
    A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

  • Law of Cat Landing
    A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

  • Law of Cat Disinterest
    A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

  • Law of Pill Rejection
    Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

  • Law of Cat Composition
    A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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