I was driving into the old historic section of town and found Tim, one of the bartenders at The River City Grill curled up on a curb alongside the road in tears.
I stopped the car and hollered over to him, "Hey, Tim, what the hell happened to you?"
Wiping away his tears, he moaned, "Look at my new convertible!"
He pointed to a crashed car down the street, wrapped around a tree trunk.
"Shit, man, don't cry. Get the insurance settlement and just buy another car," I levelheadedly advised.
"Look inside the car," Tim moaned.
After looking, I continued to console him. "Aww, dude, don't worry! You can always find another blonde."
Tim looked at me and wailed agonizingly, "Look inside her fucking mouth!"
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