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Real Life Humor
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A man comes into the Emergency Room and yells,
"My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!"
I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
"Big breaths, " I instructed.
"Yes, they used to be," remorsed the patient.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.
I placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began,
"Cover your right eye with your hand."
He read the 20/20 line perfectly.
"Now your left." Again, a flawless read.
"Now both," I requested. There was silence.
He couldn't even read the large E on the top line.
I turned and discovered that he had done exactly what I had asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered.
I was laughing too hard to finish the exam.
During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications."
Which one?" I asked.
"The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!"
I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see... Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.
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