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Way To Get Free Drinks
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A joke similar to this was submitted by Gary Kassner... but I like this version better (originally ran Jan 2001)
There were two homeless men named Tim and Jeff. One sunny day, Tim and Jeff decided that they should go get drunk. So Tim reached into his pocket and pulled out 68 cents. Realizing this would not be enough money to get drunk on, Tim came up with an idea. He grabbed Jeff by the arm and dragged him to the local Hot Dog stand. There they bought a Hot Dog and proceeded to the nearest bar. On the way he explained the plan to Jeff.
"Now listen up Jeff," said Tim, "We have to do this perfect in order to get free drinks. We'll walk into a bar and order a drink each, then after we finish the drinks, I'll put the hot dog in my pants and pull it out of my zipper. Then you'll get on your knees suck on the hot dog. When the bartender sees you sucking on the hot dog, he'll think you're sucking on my penis and will throw us out of the bar. Therefore we will end up with free drinks!"
"That's a great idea" Jeff said, so they proceeded to the local bars to begin their plan.
They went on throughout the day and their plan was working to perfection. They were thrown out of every bar they went into and by the end of the night they were piss drunk. After getting thrown out of their last bar Jeff asked'
"Hey Tim, pass me that Hot Dog, I'm kind of hungry now"
"Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you," said Tim, "I got hungry after the 2nd bar and I ate it." |
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Special Attraction !! |
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