Bill Gates dies (insert the way you think best fits here). He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call. Im not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that awful Windows 95. Im going to do something Ive never done before in your case: Im going to let you decide where you want to go."
Bill replied, "Whats the difference between the two?"
St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
"Fine, but where should I go first?"
"Ill leave that up to you."
"Okay then," said Bill, "Lets try Hell first."
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining, the temperature perfect. He was very pleased.
"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision. "Hmmm. I think Id prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
So Bill Gates went to Hell.
Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall in a dark cave, screaming amongst hot flames, being burned and tortured by demons.
"Hows everything going?" he asked Bill.
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I cant believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water????
"That was the demo," replied St. Peter. |
