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With Children. Small..
I was driving with my three young children one
warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard
my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!
That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the
bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush
in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking
for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came
out with MY toothbrush. He held it up and said
with a charming little smile, "We better throw
this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the
toilet a few days ago."

On the first day of school, a first grader
handed his teacher a note from his mother. The
note read, "The opinions expressed by this child
are not necessarily those of his parents."

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to
come out of the jar. During her struggle the
phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter
to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy,"
the child said to her mother. Then she added.,
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you
right now. She's hitting the bottle."

I love the outdoors, and because of my passion
for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable
amount of wild game. So much, in fact, that one
evening as I set a platter of broiled venison
steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter
looked up and said, "Boy, it sure would be nice
if pizzas lived in the woods."

A mother was showing her son how to zip up
his coat. "The secret," she said, "is to get
the left part of the zipper to fit in the other
side before you try to zip it up." The boy looked
at her quizzically..."Why does it have to be
a secret?"

When my daughter was three, we watched Snow
White And The Seven Dwarfs for the first time.
The wicked queen appeared, disguised as an old
lady selling apples, and my daughter was spellbound.
Then Snow White took a bite of the poisoned apple
and fell to the ground unconscious. As the apple
rolled away, my daughter spoke up. "See, Mom.
She doesn't like the skin either."

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When he was
spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little
boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's
the matter --haven't you ever seen a little boy
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