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Newspapers
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1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run
the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they
run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they
should run the country, and who like seeing the news twisted
to be suitable for badmouthing the government.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to
run the country but don't really understand the Washington
Post. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie
charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't
mind running the country, if they could spare the time, and
if they didn't have to leave LA to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used
to run the country and did a far superior job of it,
thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't
too sure who's running the country, and don't really care
as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care
who's running the country, as long as they do something
really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who
aren't sure there is a country .... or that anyone is running it;
but whoever it is, they strenuously oppose all that they
stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders
are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs, who
also happen to be illegal aliens from ANY country or
galaxy as long as they are Democrats.
10. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running
another country but need the baseball scores.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in
line at the grocery store.
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